This has been an uneventful day.  I was angry, so I slept for a huge chunk of the afternoon.  Then I forced myself to learn 10-key by touch, took a walk, went to the grocery store, cooked dinner, and practiced this 10-key business.  I have a job interview on Monday for a data entry position, for which I am completely qualified aside from a lack of proficiency in 10-key typing.

I can’t really say that I recommend learning such a skill two days before you are to be tested on it, then cramming.  It’s an inefficient and ineffective way to develop a skill.  10-key typing is actually a college class required for secretarial certificates, and the course lasts at least a quarter, which is much longer than two days.  That said, I need the job badly enough that I am trying like hell.  I’ve been running through the drills on this website, and so far my accuracy is quite good but my speed leaves something to be desired.  I’m going to have to bank on my alphanumeric score and just hope that accuracy counts for something on 10-key.

I am desperate enough at this point that I would straight-up do some immoral shit if it would guarantee me a job.  Sleep with the boss?  Yes.  Take out a contender?  Quite possibly.  We are having such a hard time getting by right now, and I feel like a worthless piece of shit because I’m not contributing (note: the man and the roommate help with this).  I’ve always been highly independent, and I’ve always been the one that helps my friends and family, and now I am… nothing.  My resume and work history count for nothing.  I don’t get to do things I want to do, ever, no matter how cheap they are.  Even trips to the bookstore are pretty much banned because of the dollar it would cost in gas, and mostly (I think) because it’s something *I* want to do.  I can’t even get the antidpressants that I need to keep me sane because I can’t afford to visit the doctor.  I really am actually about to lose my shit in a major way, like the type of ordeal that will land me in the loony bin.  And a job would help.  Nothing spectacular.  Just a regular full-time job.  I can file, I can type, I’m good on the phone, customers always like me, and THERE’S NO EFFING REASON WHY I SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO HAVE A JOB.