I have a really fun idea for everyone to try at home.

1. Send your significant other out of town on business for a week, then head out of state to visit your family.  Leave your house in the incapable and slightly grimy hands of one obsessive-compulsive weirdo who collects garbage and two nineteen year old slobs.

2. Come back five days later with the flu, and hide under a pile of blankets for a week.

3. Assume your significant other also gets the flu.  Or that he never does any housework any damned way.  Or both.

4. Emerge from your blankets and look around.  Notice the bags of garbage sitting in your dining room and be grateful that it’s in bags (most of it, anyway).  Check out the dirty dishes overflowing from the sink, the half-empty dishes on what seems like every available surface, the papers and various other nonsense strewn everywhere.  Take in the unidentifiable odor.  Notice that the caulk around your toilet is, again, yellow.  Briefly wonder how the roommates wiped their asses while you were out of town, because you know they were out of toilet paper until you came back.  Remember that every bit of laundry you own, including all bedding, needs to be washed.

5.  Smoke way too many cigarettes in hopes that you will die of cancer NOW so that you don’t have to clean up after these fucking assholes.