The man is now working, which leaves me with a shit-ton of responsibilities to do with finding a place to live (done!), completing the move, figuring out what our next meal will be, etc. This is okay with me because I would have ended up doing all of these things anyway. At least one of us is working. Hopefully I will be soon.

I was aggravated when he wasn’t working, and now I am aggravated because when I hear him talk about his new job, my own wasted potential overwhelms me. I should be doing real work. I should be putting on slacks and going to a place where I do productive things and earn money. Instead, this is my to-do list for the day:

-Work out (ugh)
-Attempt to get an extension on a traffic ticket
-Pawn more of our stuff
-Move a load of stuff from the house to the motel where we are staying (which is an exercise in futility because we’ll be moving it again in a week)
-Go to the food bank
-Go to the store (cats need to eat too)
-Try to sell some stuff on Craigslist
-Clean
-Do laundry

Not necessarily in that order.

I feel like the lamest human being on the planet. There is no way I am going to get all of that stuff done before I am supposed to pick him up from work. And it’s not that anyone (except for me) expects me to get it all done… I just basically feel like a loser. Instead of being compensated for my brain power, my life consists of trying to accomplish every stupid and menial task in existence. I should be juggling projects but instead I am juggling laundry and it makes me ANGRY.

Honestly, even if we could afford for me to stay home, I wouldn’t want to. There was a time when I thought I did, but it turns out that I’d much rather pay someone else half a day’s wages to clean my house. I have something to contribute to this world… something more important than clean dishes. Fuck all if I know what it is, but it’s there.