I landed an interview for the job I wrote about last time.  It will happen next Tuesday.  That means I have four days to brush up on some data-geek stuff that I have completely forgotten about.  And yes, you totally CAN forget how to do a job you’ve spent your entire adult life doing.  Or at least I can.

You should hear me describe what I do to a regular person who isn’t familiar with data.  “It’s like… I manipulate the data… Like if you were JC Penney and you wanted to make a catalog… But information about all the products you wanted to feature in the catalog came from 200 disparate sources… I mean, manufacturers, who all laid their product information out differently… And you wanted to, like, add it all together into one cohesive data source… you know, the catalog… you’d hire us.  And then we would gather the product information from the manufacturers… and key it in using constraints… you know, automatic limits that attempt to prevent stupid mistakes.  I mean, I wouldn’t do that… my team would… My role deals more with scheduling, planning and client management at that phase of a project… and then I would proofread their work… and find the stupid mistakes that made it through… And make them fix the mistakes… and then deliver the final output to the client… Like in email. Or possibly over FTP.”

This is not a joke.

What’s even worse is when I talk to people who DO understand the subject.  It’s like all knowledge flies out of my head and I’m left trying to string together a sentence out of jargon and verbs.  Inevitably, I fail.

I don’t even necessarily test particularly well on software applications that I know inside and out. This is because I could not close my eyes and tell you the textbook instructions for performing a task.  I just kind of “feel it out” — which points to the fact that I am self-taught.  And that’s not a bad thing, unless I’m trying to do well on a test.

So basically, I sound like a retard when I speak and I don’t test well.  Yet I am good at what I do.  Bizarre.

I am still hopeful, because I have a pretty unique skill set that usually commands a quite a bit more money than they are looking to pay.  It’s still damn good money, especially for a 26-year-old without a degree… But I can’t imagine there is a long line of qualified applicants for this position.